Summer 2017, Jay-Z dropped a (not so) surprise album “4:44”. The internet was drenched of think-pieces about the meaning of each song. Especially with the album following Queen Bey’s “Lemonade” album. I won’t pretend that I am the most knowledgeable on hip hop, but words are my thing. The opening track is what caught my attention. “Kill Jay-Z” is a record that essentially is Hov dismantling his ego, due to it being the primary cause of his highly publicized marital woes. Ultimately in search of self healing, reconciliation, and the breaking of generational curses. At least that’s what I got out of it.
Breaking down the ego is essential when you are tired of the same ol shit. When the world seems to be at your neck, and you realize that some of the things were avoidable. You want better? You must be willing to be better.
Let’s unpack that.
ego (noun): one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that serves as the organized conscious mediator between the person and reality especially by functioning both in the perception of and adaptation to reality
Analyzing things in retrospect is one of my favorite things to do. For some this may seem like self sabotage, but for me it helps me to understand myself more. Life seems clearer to me from a more elevated (and experienced) perspective.
See how the universe works
It takes my hurt
And helps me find more of myself
it’s a gift and a curseJay-Z on “Kill Jay-Z”
When you find yourself along the journey of spiritual growth and enlightenment - you begin to dismantle your emotions event by event in search of the root. The goal? Liberation, extended grace/forgiveness to self, and lessons learned.
Let’s go deeper.
Far too many of us hold on to disappointment. No one wants to believe that they do, but it’s true. When you find yourself bitter, hurt, envious (yet you dare not admit to that one), or resentful about something - you are still breathing life into it. Your ego is preventing you from moving on from that situation because things didn’t play out as you expected.
I like to think that expectation and ego perfectly compliment each other as it relates to terminology. Our egos FUME when our expectations aren’t met.
Example:
You send your boo a heartfelt text
30-60 minutes pass with no response
And lord let it not show “Read”…
Your ego:
Ok let’s get back on subject…
Do we instead lead a life of minimal expectation?
No. Not at all.
We must first understand that no matter what titles we hold in society, the family, or your career - we are not entitled to ANYTHING. Just as we don’t get to possess people - we only get to experience them…word to Nipsey Hussle.
The ego powers the “i’m okay” ideology. I get it - no one wants to be viewed as weak or emotional. But why? Human beings are innately emotional creatures, do you think that we are a species with the most complex mental capacity, yet emotionally we are limited? Come on man, that’s crazy.
It’s ok to not be okay. We have to make it a norm to allow ourselves to feel and experience the full range of our emotions. From immense joy to immense pain. There are powerful lessons throughout the spectrum. Please stop preventing yourself from evolving mentally and emotionally because you are too afraid to FEEL!
We know the pain is real
But you can’t heal
what you never revealedJay-Z on “Kill Jay-Z”
We typically view ego as arrogance - but it’s SO much deeper than that. You can keep cutting down an ugly tree, but if you don’t deal with it at the root…it’s gonna keep growing. The same goes for an untamed ego.
Check yourself before…..