You’ve probably heard the saying: “if you aren’t feeding, f*cking, or financing me - then stay out of my damn business” …or whatever somebody said.
That line came into my head as I was thinking about how attentive my fiance has been to me lately, which in turn has resulted in me being much less bitchy towards him.
I then had an ‘ah ha’ moment, like - all a woman really needs is to be fed, f*cked, and financed by her man, and she’s good.
It seems pretty simple to say, but there’s some depth to the feeding, f*cking, and financing that i’m here to elaborate on. I know that every woman is NOT the same, so this is merely just based on what i know to be true from my perspective.
Feed Me
I love to eat, but in a relationship - I need a man to feed me more than food. Feed me knowledge and different perspectives. Feed me new experiences - introduce my senses to something different. Different tastes, different feelings, different smells, different sounds.
F*ck Me
Sex is the first thing that comes to mind. That’s valid, it’s definitely important. But if we’re being real here, sex drives fluctuate so much, especially as you start to get older. So when the general idea of sex is far away from your mind, how do you find pleasure? Or in this context, how can my man please me in a way that looks and feels different, but fills me up in the ways that I desire?
I am an intellect that craves deep conversations. I love to laugh. I am a connoisseur of music - let’s have our own Verzuz, lol. That’s the type of things that i’m into. That’s what penetrates me mentally.
My grandmother would often say that “sex starts with the mind”. She’d say that if a man has your mind, your body will easily follow. I don’t believe that this ideology immediately translates to a hot & steamy body party, but it does open the door to craving a person’s touch. Craving to be in their space, feeling their energy, or even hearing the sound of their voice.
Intimacy really only comes when there is a dynamic chemistry between two people. You can really just screw anyone, but the intentionality that comes with intimacy is far greater an impact than simply…a f*ck.
Finance Me
I am a member of the “Broke Niggas are Liabilities Ministry” - anyone that knows me, knows that i’m serious about the delivery of this message.
My definition of a broke person is someone that lacks liquid cash, lacks work ethic, and lacks ambition. Not only are your pockets empty, but so is your mind. Those people need to stay far away from anyone (both men and women, romantically especially) until they get their shit together.
I know that we are in the midst of a ‘Panny’ and times are rough financially for many people, so let me make myself clear - broke people are people who don’t have shit, because they don’t want shit - or refuse to do anything to make things progress for themselves.
…back to the third “F”. Finance me doesn’t mean just give me money all the time. Yes, give me money - as much as you want…but let’s go a little deeper.
Finance me by talking money - wealth building, support my creative and entrepreneurial endeavors. Let’s discuss ways to monetize our skills and passions. Let’s talk about the psychological behaviors behind our spending habits - is there room for improvement, how?