The dumbest shit i’ve ever heard.
We live in an age where we carry the massive load of multiple generations of trauma. We don’t allow ourselves to feel nor display emotions because we were taught that strength and emotions cannot co-exist.
As we experience life, we subconsciously numb ourselves to the feelings that are discomforting in an attempt to protect ourselves. The gag is - the idea of “protection” is heavily flawed, because what we actually do is project that discomfort onto other people.
Did I lose you?
Let me give some examples for the sake of context.
You’ve openly loved people with the expectation of reciprocity. Your expectations are not met. You become bitter and secluded because you refuse to feel like that again.
THE FACT IS that you can not expect anything from anyone…ever. People are fickle. Relationships are fluid. Most importantly, some people simply do not have the capacity to love freely. It may have come easier to you - but some people have not realized their range of love yet.
You’ve experienced a bad relationship. Physical, emotional, and/or verbal abuse. To protect yourself - you lose faith in love, trust, and commitment.
First, please allow me to extend love and healing energy to you.
Give yourself time. Give yourself space to feel your emotions, but don’t dwell. The goal is that you clear your heart, mind, and soul of the shit you had to endure to make space for the gifts that could await you. You have to open your heart though.
If anything, there are lessons that you’ve learned. Take them. Apply them. Be discerned, but never afraid.
You took a leap of faith, pursued something - and it didn’t go as planned.
Shit happens. There are things that you learned. Apply those lessons. Dig deep. Try again. The greatest failure is never trying. Don’t quit.
I remember feeling like I didn’t need to go to therapy. I mean - I have always been the person that everyone goes to for advice, both young and old.
After finally taking a chance on myself, I just did it. Best decision i’ve made in 2019! I learned a few things about therapy. Therapy is more than telling a stranger all of your business. It’s even deeper than getting advice. To be honest - therapy helps you get to the root of your shit. Your shit is allllllllllllllllllll of the life experiences that have molded you into who you are, how you communicate, and how you perceive things.
The shit is the stuff that ain’t planting seeds of positive progression in your life.
You don’t have to go through your shit alone. You are doing yourself a disservice if your mental health is suffering and you have the resources/access to start healing that shit. Pride and ego are your biggest enemies when it comes to reaching a point of mental healthiness.
Mental heath is too damn taboo in the black community, Far too many people think that anything dealing with mental health is solely association with “crazy people”. We’re all crazy in some capacity tbh.
If you are experiencing grief, go talk to someone.
If you are experiencing a broken heart, go talk to someone.
If you are experiencing a point in your life where everything you thought to be true ain’t seeming that way no more, go talk to someone.
If you are experiencing anything that consistently prohibits you from being your best self, go talk to someone.
If you don’t know where to start, here’s a link with helpful resources including a link to black therapist that may be in your area.
https://www.therapyforblackgirls.com/
Tap into your greatness. It starts with YOU.
Love,
Lex